Updated: Feb 17
So you’ve entered the world of child loss. Where nothing looks the same. No, nothing. Not one thing.
Your not the same person that you once were.
Days, weeks, months or years into your loss.
Things have changed and your world has been completely altered.
Have you ever felt absolutely terrible for your inability to remember dates or times? Have you been noticeably more forgetful since your child died? Well, don’t worry because you’re not alone!
This is such a common question that we receive from so many families.
For SO many parents that have experienced the death of their child, It shakes their entire world. To its very core! Everything that they’ve ever known is completely gone. In a single instance. And now they’re changed forever.
If you were once a confident person, You may quite possibly be more anxious now. Or if you used to be the “life of the party”- You may be more quiet and timid. And like me, want to blend into the wall at times. And that part of grief seems to be different for every individual. But when it comes down to it, Grief deeply affects our brain.
ALL of our brain.
Our thoughts, ability to keep organized, our memory and so much more
The little things that once came so effortlessly to us, like scheduling appointments and following through with keeping those appointments or continuing a conversation without forgetting what you were going to say-
Those things might be gone.
For a little while or forever.
Inevitably, we have other things that are occupying our brain space that take precedence in our minds. Our brain is on survival mode.
Our brain has to figure out HOW to COPE with aching for the person that is gone but ALSO our AMAZING brain is trying to SURVIVE.
Our brains are built to problem solve. So when we have a problem that is unsolvable, with no solution, our brains will often spend the majority of our time coming up with one million different scenarios and solutions for this one problem.
The only problem is that it’s not fixable.
So our brain gets stuck.
Stuck in survival mode.
Did you get that?
IT IS TRYING TO SURVIVE!
Because trauma forces us into a fight or flight mode, it truly depends on what you decide to do.
But one thing is for sure..
We don’t mean to forget things.
It’s not intentional!
So, if you have grief brain,
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Stay in the present moment.
And give yourself grace.
A lot of Grace.
And if you or someone you know
Has recently experienced
The death of someone they love—
Let this serve as a reminder.
That grief is hard.
By far the most difficult situation
That they have had to figure out
how to maneuver through.
And they’re trying their best!
You can do this, friend!