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Writer's pictureAmanda Hartwig

Anger


For the first time in a long time I didn’t want to go to church yesterday morning.

I was wrestling with anger.

Literally just angry at the world.

Wayne said,

“These are the times that we go to church. This is when it’s most important.”

But if I’m being completely honest,

I still didn’t want to go.

I’ve experienced this pushback before.

Actually, it’s pretty common for me.

Especially around August and September. October too.

There’s usually some turbulent times.

It’s crazy how our body just “remembers” the trauma it’s seen.

I walked up to check River in at church.

And I saw overwhelm on our Kid’s Pastor’s face.

So I jumped in because she was short handed.

Grumpy and grieving me,

stepped in for check in.

But here’s the thing.

With every single family that came in-

I started to feel that anger dissipate.

I made it downstairs and worshipped.

Watching the youth of our church worship - drew me to tears. Lots and lots of tears.

Pastor Matt’s sermon was a series of the life of Joseph.

-Titled “Not Forgotten”

As you can probably imagine,

It hit home pretty incredibly.

“Romans 5:3-

“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭5:3-5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

We can rejoice in our suffering because suffering produces endurance. Endurance produces character. Character produces hope. “

What if people, Christian and non Christian alike,

would be transparent about their struggles?

What if people, myself included, were completely honest about where they really were mentally?

Being a Christian certainly does not mean I have it all together all the time.

It’s quite the contrary.

I’d argue having it together even most of the time. Some of the time.

Grief is such an odd thing.

And while I’m spewing the rage to my husband about how “I just didn’t want to”..

He recognized that the enemy was at work.

And my hubby wasn’t going to let him steal the day.

But what do you do if you don’t have that encouragement?

What do you do if you don’t have someone to physically drive you?

You watch this ⬇️

You pray. You worship. Serve.

You lean into it. Serve.

You go to therapy. Serve.

You talk to your friends or family. Serve.

You journal. You pray some more.

And then you serve.

Most importantly, you cry.

Because no matter what season you’re in-

No matter what death you’ve faced in your lifetime-

What trials you have before you-

You have to let it go from your hands.

You have to release it in order to be able to hold onto and receive what God is giving you.

Peace. Love. Joy. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self Control.

And even on the days where you slip, trip, or fall flat on your face,

God is there. God is still there.

Ready and waiting for you.

Wanting so badly to help walk you through this.

Hand and hand. With Him.

Enjoy this video of yesterday’s sermon.

& At the end of it-

there are some practical responses that you can take & use for today!

If you’re angry in this moment,

Discouraged. Downcast. Grieving. Lonely. Wanting to give up. Broken. Defeated. Devastated. Depressed. Anxious. Tired. Or just losing it.

While reading this ..

I pray that God finds you.

I pray that God heals the brokenness.

I pray that even if you pick it back up-

you will know that there’s a God who sees you, wants to help you and values YOU as His most precious love.

God l o v e s you.

And you’re not alone in your struggle.

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