Forgetting vs Remembering
Society holds an impossible standard against the bereaved community.
Yes, when we are faced with death, there is endless hugs, tears shed for us and sometimes even meal trains. The list goes on and on.
But a short period of time later, the griever is forced to watch life move on. Move forward without the one that they love.
And while we are grateful that yours continues on like “normal”-
We are still sitting in the same spot, living with the aftermath and destruction that death has left us. Staring at the debris it held in its path.
All the while screaming in our minds…
THIS ISN’T MY LIFE!!!!
THIS CANNOT BE!!!!!!
And while it’s just another day for you. Or another shower. Or another drive to work. We are still here. Broken. Shattered.
Feeling the thick, debilitating pain right over our heart that only happens when pure and deep devastation occur.
Over time- most times, a short period of time, society says, “get up and get over it!”
And while yes, I’d agree it’s good to move grief. There’s a difference between “getting over” and “moving through”….
You move through death.
You don’t get over it.
There isn’t an award you get for conquering it well.
And you definitely don’t get recognized if you “get over” the death that you’ve experienced in some “timely” fashion.
The phrase “get over it” comes from the late 14th century..
When we talk about “getting over it,” we’re discussing finishing something – be that an illness, an emotional upset, or something else entirely. The origin of the idiom “get over it” is attested to use of the word “over” as a late 14th century meaning for “recover from.” The term is first seen in literature in John Behervaise’s Thirty-six Years of Seafaring Life published in 1839, referencing an amputation: “Such was his state that no one supposed he could ever get over it.”
We don’t get over the death of someone we love.
We move through the grief and adjust to the life that now has to be faced without them the way they were before.
And that’s not easy.
That’s hard. Really hard.
And not something worth forgetting.
Gingersoftware “Get over it” terminology and definition taken