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The Truth Is....

The truth is that I hate this time of year. 

No. Not because the kids go back to school. 

Although that used to be my reason. 

I never wanted to say goodbye to Ariana. 

Her first day of 4K, I sobbed and sobbed in the hallway. She sat on the colorful ABC rug and smiled at me.  

Of course, I was pregnant with Bo. So maybe you could blame it on the hormones. But maybe not. 

I hate this time of year not because our kids go to school. Although it's a daunting reminder of what's to come. 

September 1st each year was the first day of school for my girl. 

September 4th my son passed from this world. 

Holding on to the similarities and thoughts that I once knew. The blissfulness that I once had. 

I hate this time of year because of the trauma. 

Because I've endured something that not nearly anyone could go through. Could live through. 

Breathing all of my breath into his tiny little lungs. Seeing him lifeless. Motionless. Stiff. 

The truth is that I hate this time of year. 

How much I miss you Bo. 

The world will never know. 

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