Today is a source of pain.
To be completely honest
I’ve been burying it in
the back of my mind.
Similar to what I’ve done
With my feelings.
This face is someone
that I miss so desperately.
He is one that
This imperfect world
never got the chance to see.
To his fullest potential,
he just wasn’t there yet.
And neither was I.
It is so interesting
how I am a viable witness
to watch my entire world
pass by around me.
And yet,
this little person
that I spent every hour
of my day with....
Just gone.
And the world is OK with that.
The world moves on.
And all the while my heart
is screaming in
tears and torture.
My mind constantly takes me back
to when he was born,
his first word, his first step.
And here I sit.
Completely amazed
by the world that I sit in.
Amazed, not in a good way.
By crossing the threshold
of becoming a loss parent,
I have found that people
can be very cruel and mean.
But how can this be?
The answer is quite simple. They have never known
a joy as true and authentic as this.
This right here is other bliss.
Not like anything else.
This type of joy can change their life.
It can change their way of thinking.
And it is something that has left me.
If you are suffering
with a hurting heart this
Mother’s Day,
this day is for you.
This day you can use
to honor your child.
Say their name.
Say it proudly.
Because after all,
that is our job.
A very important job.
In loving memory of the
very first boy who
stole my heart
and ran to
infinity and beyond.
Bo William Hartwig
I love you so much.